Monday, February 2, 2009

Advertising: David's Entry - Lie to Me Baby

INT. Conference Room Day
Jerry Kline, (Balding, middle aged with thick glasses) stands at the end of a long table. Lined up at the table are a group of advertising gurus with briefcases open, laptops and Blackberries lit up and sharpened pencils at the ready.Kline turns to the white board behind him.
KLINE
The key, ladies and gentlemen, is money. More to the point...
He draws a stick figure with a quick almost violent motion and then jabs the marker at the board where the hip pocket should be.
KLINE (CONT'D)
Their money. We need it. They probably need it too, but who cares? How do we get it.
MARTINA (thin, waspish with cat's eye shaped glasses) raises a pen in the air.
MARTINA
Lie?
KLINE
Exactly. That is why we are here. We are living the lie. We are living BY the lie. We are lying to ourselves about what we do so we can justify the lie. So...feed my addiction. Give me some lies.
BART, (short, stout, late twenties w/freckles) stands up.
BART
I have an idea I'd like to share.
KLINE
I didn't ask for ideas.
BART
How about if I lie and tell you it's another lie - then present the idea?
KLINE
Interesting.
BART
I'd be lying if said I didn't think so.
MARTINA
Just tell us what you've got, Barty, we don't have all day.
BART
(winks at Martina)
I think we should go a new direction with the company logo.
MARTINA
The logo?
KLINE
I hope you're lying.
Laughter ripples up and down the table. Bart ignores them.
BART
What is the one thing our clients expect of us?
KLINE
Lies.
BART
Exactly. But lately, some of that has come back to bite us in the ass. Like the time machine.
Kevin, a thin ferret-faced man in his mid forties glances up and cuts in.
KEVIN
Hey! We sold truckloads of time machines. The client couldn't be happier.
BART
There were a FEW issues with customers...we did tell them it was a time traveling device.
KLINE
It tells time.
MARTINA
It didn't travel...
KLINE
But you can travel WITH it...and hey, how about that commercial where you go to sleep, and it's one time - when you wake up? The future?
BART
In any case, we've gotten ourselves an unfortunate reputation...it's hurting business.
KEVIN
But...if they know we are lying, what's the problem? We lie too well?
BART
It's the negative connotation ... the semantics. Here is what I propose.
Bart unfolds a cardboard stand and flips a sheet of paper over, turning it so all can see. Emblazoned across the page is the face of a cartoonish albino lion.
KEVIN
I don't get it.
MARTINA
I do! It's a White Lion.
KLINE
We have to shrink it.
BART
Exactly.
He flipped the page again, and the same image stared at them. This time there was text. The logo read.
"Little White Lion"
KLINE
I like the honesty...

3 comments:

Art/Trina said...

Hey, over from the CBM project. (I'll bite hope you dont mind the initials) Looking forward to the laughs and perhaps a little dark humour or a chll or two. Going to check out your recommended skteches...

Michael Brownlee said...

Nice David. All the lying talk is fun.

I feel like it could be a trimmed a little though. And the pun button would probably get more of a groan out of the audience than a belly laugh. But if you can make it short and sweet, maybe a runner (with two other sketches) where we see this guy showing us nothing but pun ideas, and his collegues all groan with us. The final one would be a nice payoff.

Just my two cents.

David Niall Wilson said...

Thanks folks...I've not written that many short sketches, so it's a growing thing. All feedback very much appreciated.