PIMP MY TV : DAVID WILSON'S ENTRY

I admit...I stretched for this. I thought, and I thought...well. I thought, anyway...and you can be the judge of how THAT worked out.

EXT. LATE AFTERNOON - STREET

A blue, older model sedan turns into a driveway and pulls up to a garage door. The driver, WILBUR POST, mid thirties with short dark hair, dressed in a plain business suit, punches his remote. The garage door slides open. He pulls in slowly, and the door closes behind him.

INT. GARAGE - CONTINUOUS

He fumbles with his briefcase, opens the door, and climbs out.

O.S. Something bangs loudly.

WILBUR

Hold your horses!

He fumbles his keys into his pocket, runs his hand over the wall, and finds the light switch.

O.S. The BANG repeats.

WILBUR (CONT'D)

I'm warning you.

The back wall of the garage is covered in pegboards. Tools of all sorts dangle from an array of hooks. Wilbur steps up to the left side of the wall, grabs the handle of a hammer, and pulls it away from the board.

A whirring sound fills the air.

O.S. The banging sound grows rapid and frantic.

WILBUR (CONT'D)

Damnit, I said...

CUT TO:

EXT. DRIVEWAY - cONTINUOUS

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Wilbur Post is a man with a secret. He has hidden it from the prying eyes of his neighbors.

CUT TO:

EXT. HOUSE ACROSS THE STREET - CONTINUOUS

MABEL POTTER - thin, waspish, thick glasses with cat's eye frames, peers out through her blinds at the door to Wilbur's garage.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Unbeknownst to his employers, or his co-workers.

CUT TO:

INT. GARAGE - CONTINUOUS

The back wall continues to slide open. Wilbur's phone rings loudly, playing a catchy tune.

O.S. The banging sound becomes like thunder. Wilbur pulls out his phone and flips it open. He checks the incoming number.

WILBUR

Damn it.

O.S. A voice rises from a very low pitched rumble.

WILBUR (CONT'D)

Ed?

ED

Wiiiiilllburrrr.... RUN!

The phone is still ringing. Wilbur glances down at it, then at the back wall. Something large and white appears in the shadows.

Wilbur answers the phone.

WILBUR

Bob? I'm going to have to get back to you.

He glances up again.

WILBUR (CONT'D)

Oh...no.

CUT TO:

EXT. WILBUR'S GARAGE - CONTINUOUS

A horrible vibration rocks the garage. It resolves itself into a huge, wet fart. The door opens, and Wilbur staggers out into his driveway.

ED

(floating out from inside)

I'm sorry, Wilbuuuuurrr.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

And in violation of some tenets of The Geneva Convention.

MABEL

Wilbur? Wilbur Post? What are you doing over there young man? There are rules in this neighborhood.

Wilbur turns, gulps in great lungfuls of air and waves.

WILBUR

Everything is under control, Mrs. Potter. Just a little trouble with an aerosol can.

Wilbur staggers back into the garage.

INT. WILBUR'S GARAGE - CONTINUOUS

The back wall is now fully open revealing a window. Centered in that window, a large white horse stares out at Wilbur.

ED

I toooolld you to run.

WILBUR

Damnit Ed ...

There is a wet, squishing sound. Wilbur stops cold He stares at the floor.

ED

Now you've stepped in it....

NARRATOR (V.O.)

A man, and his horse, live a secret life. One locked away in a garage stall from which he cannot exit without being carted off to a farm - the other with a secret no one would understand. This...is their story...

Cue the Mr. Ed Theme song.