Friday, August 8, 2008

FSW: Disney Edition

"Disney" was the theme tossed out by Richard this week in honor of his applying for the Disney-ABC Television Writing Fellowship. Here's hoping it was just the push he needed to get accepted.

His sketch this week brings us the Walt-cicle taking in the Olympics.

Dave jumped in last week after getting a reaming from the creator of Wall-E. Nothing from him yet, but the theme is in his hands should he choose to join us.

I think it's interesting that I chose to deal with Walt as well. Not sure what that says about Richard and I. Aside from the "great minds think alike" stuff.

Origin of Species.

(A dark and dingy basement/laboratory. A young man is standing over an operating table working on a body. We can’t really see what’s on the table. He is whistling while he works. Suddenly a light is turned on and we hear footsteps coming into the basement.)

Dad: What are you doing down here, Walt?

Walt: Knock! I asked you to knock before coming down here!

(Walt frantically throws a sheet over the body. His Dad enters.)

Dad: I’m sorry, son, but something's happened.

(He notices Walt’s apron is covered with splattered blood.)

Dad: What are you working on?

Walt: Nothing. Science experiment. Nothing.

(The body under the sheets twitches. Dad looks around Walt at the figure on the table.)

Dad: Is it alive? You’re not torturing one of Mrs. DeVille’s cats again are you?

Walt: No, Dad.

Dad: We talked about that, remember?

Walt: I remember, Dad. Now, what did you want to talk to me about? I have work to do.

Dad: There’s no easy way of saying this. It’s your mother.

Walt: What about her?

Dad: Well, she was out picking berries and some hunters mistook her for a deer…

(There is a sound from under the sheet. A strange guffawing, laugh-like sound.)

Dad: What the hell do you have under there?

(Dad whips away the sheet to reveal a strange humanoid looking dog. Dad recoils with disgust.)

Dad: Sweet Jesus! What have you done?

Walt: It’s not finished yet!

Dad: Is that Pluto?

Walt: No, dad. I would never hurt our dog.

Dad: Then?

Walt: It’s the Darling’s goofy-looking mutt.

(The “dog-man” twitches and guffaws again.)

Walt: He is going to be able to walk and talk, just like we do.

Dad: Oh son. Son, this is wrong. You have to stop this.

Walt: Why can’t you believe in me? My work.

Dad: Walt, trying to make animals behave like us isn’t work, it’s….it’s immoral.

Walt: You just wait and see. I’ll show you. I’ll show everyone!

(Walt bolts up the stairs.)

Dad: Son wait! Come back!

(We hear a door slam in another part of the house. Dad takes a look around the basement. The “dog-man” twitches and guffaws.)

Dad: Jesus. This is worse than those damn mice he kept putting short pants on.

(He picks up a shovel and bashes the “dog-man” with it. There are a couple of yelps and then it is still. He wipes his hands and heads for the stairs.)

Dad: He’s gotta cut this shit out. A thing like this can stick with a man forever. After all, it’s a small world out there.

(He climbs the stairs. A cricket in a top hat and coat leaps onto the table. It takes one look at the “dog-man” and vomits.)



NotNits said...


And thank you for acknowledging that Goofy is a dog. Just because Pluto is a dog doesn't mean Goofy can't be one. I've never understood why people got hung up on that.

And next week's theme is "payroll."

R.A. Porter said...

Seriously, seriously twisted, man. A true sleeping beauty of a sketch!