FSW: Advertising Edition (Michael's Entry)

FADE IN:

INT. BANK TELLER LINE - DAY

MARK, well dressed and handsome, is standing in line waiting to cash a check. He notices GARY, dressed in drab, ill-fitting clothes, holding a sack of change. Gary looks at his watch.

MARK

That’s a nice watch.

GARY

Oh, thanks. My mom got it for me.

MARK

Same one Tiger Woods wears.

GARY

Oh yeah? I’m not really a golf watcher.

MARK

Who is? No, I just like the products the man pitches. He has good taste.

GARY

I guess I never put much thought into celebrity backed endorsements.

MARK

Well, you should. It used to take me hours to get dressed in the morning because all of my clothes were like yours, boring and un-endorsed. But now...

Mark begins pointing out articles of clothing, starting with his shoes and moving up to his sunglasses. (Shoes, socks, pants, belt, shirt, jacket, sunglasses.)

MARK

Clooney, Gere, Depp, Pitt, Pitt, Eastwood, Dempsey. The cologne is by Federline and the boxers are Michael Jordan slash Cuba Gooding, Jr.

GARY

Wow.

MARK

Thanks. I know. You should try it.

GARY

I’d give my left nut for some fancy, advertised clothes.

MALE VOICE (O.S.)

I did.

Everyone turns to see LANCE ARMSTRONG, dressed very fashionably, stroll into the shot.

GARY

Seven time Tour de France winner and Subaru pitchman, Lance Armstrong?!

Lance speaks directly to the camera.

LANCE

Thanks to the generous folks at Celeb’s Threads dot com, now you can purchase celebrity endorsed items at deep, deep discounts. Look like Johnny Depp, in the pages of Vogue, without feeling like you had to pay with the family jewels.

Lance waves his arm and there’s a bright flash and now Gary is also very stylishly attired. And in place of his sack of change, he now carries a man-bag with a small yippie dog in it.

GARY

Wow. Thanks Celeb’s Threads dot com!

LANCE

You’re welcome, Gary. Or should I say McDreamy?

They laugh. Everyone admires what the other is wearing as the logo, a lemming wearing Hugo Boss, appears on the screen.

ANNOUNCER

Celeb’s Threads dot com. Celebrity fashions at trailer park prices. Because, let’s face it, we all want to look like someone else.

FADE OUT: