Friday, September 12, 2008

FSW: Change Edition

So far, Richard is the only combatant on the field with his funny, Wonder Twins sketch.

This week's theme was "Change". Been a lot of it happening around me lately. It seems like my world has been build on a fault line and the Earth is beginning to shift and move like a bowl of Jell-O in great-grandma's hands. But change is good, right? Lord I hope so.

So here's today's offering. When I tossed out the theme I was thinking of writing a more political-centric sketch. But the Muse had other ideas. And there's no arguing with her, either. It's her way or the highway.


Be The Change

MONTAGE: We see a series of shots of Brendan Johnson walking around the city doing good deeds. Someone tossing a cup at a trashcan and it misses, Brendan picks it up. Brendan is collecting pages of newspaper that blow in the wind and takes them to a recycling can. Brendan is carrying a little, old ladies groceries for her as they cross a busy street. Brendan is taking soup to a sick friend. Brendan is in the park with a pooper scooper. Brendan is scraping gum off the sidewalk.

Cut to:


Brendan is sitting at a small table, sipping a steaming cup of tea while reading the Tao Te Ching. The bell rings over the door and Han Kerin enters looking down trodden. As the door closes, he slings his heavy book-bag over his shoulder and it slams into a woman reading notices on a corkboard.


Han is oblivious and walks to the counter. After ordering he reaches into his pocket to pull out money and a fistful of coins scatter all over the counter and floor. In an frantic effort to try and catch some, he manages to knock over the display of CDs that were on the counter and spill two different people’s coffees. People mutter “asshole” and “jerk” as they try to avoid this walking disaster. As Han is on his hands and knees picking up his lost change, Brendan joins him and hands him a bunch of coins he’s picked up.

BRENDAN: Rough morning?

HAN: Aren’t they all?

BRENDAN: Each day starts with a clean slate, full of potential and possibility.

HAN: Yeah. Potential for more shit to go wrong.

BRENDAN: If you only look for the negative that’s all you’re ever going to find.

HAN: It’s better than constantly having your hopes dashed.

BRENDAN: If you want good things to happen, you have to make them happen. Be the change you want to see in the world.

HAN: Are you high or something?

BRENDAN: On life, my friend. On life.

HAN: Okay, well, it makes you sound like a crazy person.

BRENDAN: And what if I’m the only sane one here?

HAN: Then you’re delusional as well.

BRENDAN: What are you doing right now?

HAN: Well, I’m supposed to go to the unemployment office to see if…

BRENDAN: You should come with me to the park.

HAN: So you can murder me?

Brendan laughs and pats Han on the back.

BRENDAN: Just for an hour. I want to open your eyes to the possibilities that this world has to offer you.

HAN: In the park?

BRENDAN: Come on. When was the last time you really took a chance? Huh? The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.

HAN: Well, I suppose it can’t hurt.

They are standing. Brendan has put his arm around Han.

BRENDAN: The world is a beautiful, serene place. It’s us and our attitudes about it that make it ugly.

Han is getting a little chocked up.

HAN: You know, you’re the first person who’s actually said anything to me other than “Watch it, asshole.” or “How’s about a shower, fuckface.” in a long time.

BRENDAN: Let’s go generate some positivity for you, my friend.

HAN: All right. Let’s do it.

Brendan grabs his things and they head for the door. Han is smiling.

HAN: I can’t remember the last time I felt this…light. This excited about something.

BRENDAN: Once you open the door to positive energy it's hard to keep it out.

Brendan begins to cross the street.

HAN: Hey, what’s your name?

Brendan stops and looks back. He opens his mouth to speak just as a city bus blows past running him over. Han shakes his head. While Han is standing there, looking at the carnage, a shady fellow gently pulls Han’s laptop out of his bag and walks off with it. He turns to leaves and stops as he has stepped in something. He picks up his shoe to reveal a long, sticky string of bubble gum and dog crap.

HAN: That’s more like it.

He walks away.



R.A. Porter said...

Are you Brendan or Han in this sketch?

Michael Brownlee said...

Both. Scraping dog crap off my shoes, but trying to tell myself that it's only as bad as I make it. All while trying to remember the license plate of the bus that just hit me.

R.A. Porter said...

Yikes! Sorry, man. At least you've still kept your sense of humor.

joe g. said...

* still waiting for Hollywood to make "Goofus and Gallant: The Motion Picture *

Ken Robertson said...

The trick is to look at the shoe as only HALF covered in dog crap.