Best Friends

(A hospital room. GLEN and ADAM, mid-thirties, are in neighboring beds. They are wearing hospital gowns. GLEN is awake, reading a magazine. ADAM is asleep. After a few moments, ADAM wakes up and groans.)

GLEN
Well good morning!

ADAM (groggy)
Glen. Hey.

GLEN
The operation was a success.

ADAM
Oh, that’s great. How are you feeling?

GLEN
Great! How are you doing?

(pause)

ADAM
I’m really out of it.

GLEN
That sounds about right.
(pause)
Hey, Adam, I know I can never convey to you how much I appreciate this –

ADAM
Oh, no, seriously. There’s no need to mention it.

GLEN
Well, no, I think there is. You gave me a kidney. That’s huge.

ADAM
I was a match. What kind of friend would I be if I said no?

GLEN
No, Adam. It was above and beyond.

(pause)

ADAM
Well, you’re welcome.

(A moment passes. The two men have been rendered bashful by the level of warmth and intimacy. Finally, simultaneously, they reach between the beds and do a manly fist-bump.)

GLEN
Awesome.

ADAM
You’re looking really well.

GLEN
Yeah! I feel great.

ADAM
When will they know if your body accepts the kidney?

GLEN
I guess a kidney from a live donor starts working pretty much immediately, and it gets fully functional in three to five days. So, I guess three to five days after I have it implanted.

(pause)

ADAM
Sorry?

GLEN
Once they put the kidney in me, three to five days later it should be fully functioning, if all goes well.

ADAM
They didn’t put it in you yet?

GLEN
No, I thought it would be best to wait until I need it.

(pause)

ADAM
When will you need it?

GLEN
Who knows? But I feel great knowing it’s there. I feel prepared. Again, thank you.

(GLEN picks up a jar from the floor and sets it on the bedside table. In it, a kidney is suspended in cloudy liquid.)

ADAM
I thought you needed it right away!

GLEN
No!
(GLEN knocks on wood.)

ADAM
You son of a bitch! I thought it was a matter of life or death! You’re just keeping it aside in case you need it someday?

GLEN
What the hell, man? If you offer me half of your Twix bar, you’re not going to be pissed off if I don’t eat it right away.

(pause)

ADAM
No.

GLEN
I mean, we’re friends! We’ve known each other for fourteen years! I’ve been lying here, bored out of my skull for hours, just so I could be here in person when you regained consciousness. And I fucking hate hospitals, dude.

(pause)

ADAM
Thank you.

GLEN
Look, you’re welcome. You don’t have to thank me. It’s the least I could do.
(pause)
I’m gonna go get a Twix bar. You want anything?

(pause)

ADAM
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

GLEN
Sure thing. And Adam. Don’t even think about going for your wallet. It’s on me.

(GLEN exits. ADAM lies in bed, silent. He glances over at the jar with the kidney in it. Idly, he reaches out and flicks it with his finger. He turns over and begins to drift back to sleep.)