Friday, November 14, 2008

FSW: Leafer's Paradise

Autumn. A wide open theme. Could have gone so many ways, that I expect we'll get some nice variation this week. Let's hope so! Come back later for a recap with links to the other sketches and information on submitting for next week.

And if you've got a theme you'd like to see us try out for next week, leave it in comments here, or on one of the other blogs when their sketches are up.

Leafer's Paradise

EXT. RURAL ROAD - DUSK

A lone luxury sedan drives over rolling hills in the golden sunset, the millions of brightly colored autumn leaves glowing in shades of red and orange. Perfect foliage.

VANESSA (V.O.)

Oh, Marcus! It's beautiful. You were right, this was the perfect weekend to drive up. Sorry I doubted you.

MARCUS (V.O.)

No worries, babe. I checked the almanac, the National Weather Service, and had the boys in accounting run some numbers based on the last 20 years, factoring in warming trends. I knew this would be the peak weekend.

VANESSA (V.O.)

I just wish we could have skipped work and had an extra day. But anyway, this place I booked should be perfect. The Double-A Guide gave it three coffee cups.

MARCUS (V.O.)

You mean the Triple-A Guide.

VANESSA (V.O.)

Uh-oh.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT

RUPERT and MAGGIE stand behind the desk. He's in his 50s, balding, and looking rumpled-casual in a button-down shirt. She's in her 30s and crisply turned out. The door opens and MARCUS and VANESSA stroll in with too many bags for a weekend trip. He and she are both in their 30s, decked out in the flannel, cashmere, and special boots they bought just for this weekend.

MAGGIE

Good evening, and welcome to Hearth House. Are we the Pithbottoms?

VANESSA

Yes, we are. I'm Vanessa and this is Marcus. Your inn is beautiful, really.

Maggie taps at her computer.

MAGGIE

Thank you. Let's see, we have you for three nights, checking out Sunday morning, and you wanted to do two of our foliage tours, one tomorrow and then the special Leaves & Lakes Tour on Saturday. How fun!

RUPERT

Will you be dining in the restaurant this evening?

MARCUS

Honey?

VANESSA

Sure. Sounds good.

(to Marcus)

Doesn't he look like Bob Newhart? You think he's like him?

(to Rupert)

Aren't you chilly? Maybe you should put on a cardigan?

Rupert gets this a LOT. He rolls his eyes and gives the couple a withering look.

MARCUS

Yes, yes! Now I see it.

RUPERT

Maybe later, ma'am. Right now, let's just get you two finished with check-in.

Maggie taps a bit more, Rupert shuffles some papers.

MARCUS

(to Vanessa)

Doesn't she remind you of that Gilman Girl?

VANESSA

(to Marcus)

Who's that?

MARCUS

You know, Laura Gilman, from that show you like?

VANESSA

Oh you mean--

MAGGIE

--Okay, we're almost done. Will you be keeping this on your American Express?

MARCUS

Actually, I'd like to put it on this Visa, instead.

Vanessa looks at Marcus questioningly while he hands his card to Maggie.

MARCUS (CONT'D)

(to Vanessa)

Double miles.

The wind outside kicks up. Rupert and Maggie look at each other and hurry up the process. She drops the card in her haste and both get looks of abject terror at the delay. The wind picks up more. Just as Maggie runs the card through the reader, the front door FLIES open and a mass of dead leaves blow into the lobby, propelled by a whipping wind.

MAGGIE

If I could just get you to sign here?

Maggie and Rupert look at each other with a mixture of relief and amused resignation.

VANESSA

Wow, that was some wind. Hope it doesn't effect the leaves too much.

EXT. RURAL ROAD - DAY

A van drives through a vast wasteland. I mean, like Tunguska AFTER the event. Dead, gnarly trees as far as the eye can see beneath a leaden sky. Swirling piles of leaves gather in little eddies.

TOUR GUIDE (V.O.)

On the right, you'll see a stand of Vermont maples, renown for their beautiful, deep red leaves in autumn.

BLACKOUT

7 comments:

tjonsek said...

can't wait to see what everyone else comes up with...

is there a prize of sorts or just the distinguished honor of winning the war and being featured? Or do you have winners?

As unoriginal as it sounds, horrible family holidays could always make for good comedy/drama...

Or - surprises for a theme. Any kind of surprise.

R.A. Porter said...

If we had more competitors and visitors, I'd consider a prize with voting. But as it stands, we're between one and four sketch writers a week and not nearly enough visitors for anyone to vote but us.

Those are two excellent theme suggestions; we'll throw them in the mix.

2old4this said...

Hey, I actually read one on Friday!

Once again, great job. Even when you suck, you're good.

?

No, wait, rephrase. Even the ones you think aren't very good are very enjoyable.

I only wish that autumn really were like that, done in one shot.

R.A. Porter said...

Hehehe.

What worries me is when I think I'm good. What then?!? :)

Ken Robertson said...

Nothing quite like fall when global warming has set in :)

I went to highschool in New England, and Tunguska is a pretty accurate description at the end of Autumn...just with fewer deported russians (same number of gulags though)

R.A. Porter said...

"Went to high school" doesn't hold nearly the same set of painful memories as "had to rake the damn leaves every fall." I'm a CT Yankee who's never even done a production of Camelot.

Where'd you go to high school?

Ken Robertson said...

I went to highschool in Sudbury, MA. Also spent a fair amount of time in CT too - seems like I was in Hartford once a year for some reason or another.

So I know your pain when it comes to raking leaves...we lived next to a large wooded area. I learned great respect for leaf blowers.