Friday, January 23, 2009

FSW: Borders Edition (Coyote's Entry)

INT. BEDROOM - DAY

Matching pairs of twin beds, nightstands, and dressers mirror left and right. A line of duct tape neatly divides the room down the center, right up the back wall, splitting a JONAS BROTHERS POSTER right between Nick's eyes. EMILY, 7 and sassy, enters the left and notices a shirt edging over her side of the line.

EMILY

Mom! Maddy's stuff's on my side again!

Mom's heard this before and she's tired of it.

MOM (O.S.)

So move it, Emily.

EMILY

She's always over the line! It's not fair.

MOM comes into the room from the right and picks up the shirt. She folds and lays it on the right side bed. She crosses the line and sits next to Emily.

MOM

Em, you know she tries, but she's not a big girl like you. Try to be understanding?

EMILY

Okay.

CUT TO:

INT. BEDROOM - DAY

MADDY, a precocious 4-year old with a mouth as big as her sister's, enters the empty room from the right. She spies a pink sneaker on her side of the divide.

MADDY

(whiny)

MOM!!! Em'ly's shoe's on my side!

MOM (O.S.)

Maddy, what did we say about whining?

MADDY

(whinier)

But, mom!

Mom enters from the left, picks up the sneaker and puts it next to its mate at the foot of Emily's bed.

MOM

Maddy!

(beat)

Never mind.

CUT TO:

INT. BEDROOM - DAY

Emily enters from the left and sees one of Maddy's dolls on her side of the room.

EMILY

Mom!

VIRGIL, a mid-50s rancher in boots, jeans, and 10-gallon hat, enters from the right with a folding chair, sets it up on the center line, and sets hisself down.

EMILY (CONT'D)

Who're you?

Virgil tips his hat so-slightly.

VIRGIL

Name's Virgil. You must be Emily. Your mom's told me all about you.

EMILY

She has?

VIRGIL

Yep.

EMILY

Why are you here?

VIRGIL

Keepin' the peace.

Maddy enters from the right and stops dead in her tracks when she sees Virgil.

MADDY

MOM!!!

VIRGIL

Whoa now, little lady. No call for hollerin'. Name's Virgil.

MADDY

You smell funny.

Virgil plucks a flask from his pocket and takes a sip.

VIRGIL

Wouldn't know about that. Been minding the border down Mexico way with the Minutemen. Then they finally up and finished that dadburned fence.

Emily slides one of her pink sneakers across the floor to the line. Just as it breaks the plane, Virgil pulls a six-shooter from a hidden shoulder holster and trains it on her head.

VIRGIL (CONT'D)

Might want to rethink that.

Virgil opens his flask again and offers it to Emily and Maddy before taking a swallow.

BLACKOUT:

5 comments:

R.A. Porter said...

Well, I've written a sketch worthy of SNL. Can't you see it? Right after Weekend Update? I can.

This sketch goes THUD.

Ugh.

It was my third or fourth idea and seemed stronger in concept than the Governors' meeting where Sarah Palin and the Hawaiian Governor argued with Texas and Arizona that they needed more of the federal funds. In retrospect, I shoulda stuck with Sarah.

Michael Brownlee said...

I think this is a great idea. I laughed out loud at Virgil threatening her with the gun.

What would happen if you just started out with him already there? Then you can get more into him keeping the peace. I mean, what happens when Emily needs to pee, but has to cross the border to get to the bathroom?

I think there's plenty of gold to mined from this. Nice work.

Ken Robertson said...

I agree with Michael - there's a lot to play with, and having Virgil there from the start (or having Mom send him in early in the scene). And as twisted as it is there's someting about a cowboy holding a 4 year old at gunpoint that makes me giggle.

Besides....you have minutemen in your scene, you're OBVIOUSLY a genius! LOL

(I had no idea you used Minute men too until I read this...you and I should collectively send them a nice thank-you fruit basket, filled only with domestic fruits of course)

R.A. Porter said...

I think I'm beating up on myself and my sketch *because* the idea has a lot of potential. It just needed more time than I had to put into it and I let it down.

FreeMyMuse said...

Are you kidding? I laughed out loud. Had a sister and we literally did have tape running down the middle of our room at one point.

Great job.