Thursday, January 15, 2009

FSW: Heist Edition (Coyote's entry)

EXT. RIVERBANK - DAY

A secluded spot on the NY side of the Hudson River. The GW Bridge is recognizable to the north. The camera focuses out on the river.

MARTIN (O.S.)

Goddamn, it's cold!

PIERRE (O.S.)

Oui. I could have stayed in Quebec if I'd wanted to freeze my tail off.

MADELINE (O.S.)

The job's here, not in Quebec. Stop your squawking and focus. The boss is almost in position.

PIERRE (O.S.)

I still don't understand the plan.

MADELINE (O.S.)

That's because you're a stubborn old fool. Look, the courier is on the plane, right?

PIERRE (O.S.)

Oui.

MADELINE (O.S.)

He always has the case with him?

MARTIN (O.S.)

You don't have to talk down to us.

MADELINE (O.S.)

I think maybe I do. We need a distraction, some way to create enough chaos that the courier forgets the case for just a moment. Then Marcel can grab it and get out.

PIERRE (O.S.)

And that's why--

CUT TO:

The three plotters are in bird costumes. Goddamn Canada Geese.

MADELINE

--That's why we crash the plane.

CUT TO MAIN TITLES:

Montage of the Geese committing crimes. Picking locks, picking pockets, cracking safes, stuff blowing up, and finally a slo-mo walk toward us by all four of the Geese criminals. The title on the screen...GOOD FOR THE GANDER

EXT. RIVERBANK - DAY

The three Geese are right where we left them, stomping their webbed feet in the cold.

MARTIN

What's with this manifesto you sent out?

MADELINE

We're taking out the plane for the Canuck Avian Liberation Front.

PIERRE

CALF?

MADELINE

Yes.

PIERRE

Shouldn't it be BIRD, or GOOSE, or something like that?

MADELINE

Cute.

PIERRE

Really, who are they?

MADELINE

I read about them in Time Magazine. It should throw the Feds off our scent.

A cellphone rings. Martin takes his out of his pocket and answers.

MARTIN

Go.

(beat)

Alright, we're ready.

He hangs up and turns to his comrades.

MARTIN (CONT'D)

They're airborne. It's time.

MADELINE

Remember...flap around like crazy so the pilot thinks there are more of us, then throw the frozen turkeys toward the engines. The turbines will do the rest.

PIERRE

See you on the other side!

Pierre starts to run toward the water flapping his wings.

MADELINE

No, you idiot! The rendezvous is on this side of the river!

BLACKOUT:

3 comments:

davislove said...

I think I'd like to see that montage, nothing like geese gone bad. Seriously - nice job.

Ken Robertson said...

Looking at the timing between when that plane went down and when you posted this sketch, I'm guessing someone was struck by a huge ol' bolt of inspiration (or a large goose-apple...but I'm hoping for the former).

Nicely done Richard - and big kudos for being uber-timely! Someone get the Daily Show on the phone! :)

R.A. Porter said...

You know how it goes: you can strive to be really good or really fast. Ideally, you mix the two traits, but I find speed is easier for me to manufacture. :)