FSW: Tricks, Lots of Tricks

Er, uh. Ken came up with this week's topic when our readers failed to offer up even one suggestion. But you know what? I'm going to try again. So if you read the sketches but aren't going to compete, comment here, or on one of the competitor blogs, with your idea for what the theme should be. I'll pick my favorite and we'll run with that. If we get no suggestions (or if we fear the suggestions we get) the honors will fall to me this time. And if you want to compete, email a link to your sketch to sketchwar at dreamloom.com.

This week I had a lot of trouble. Couldn't come up with a thing. Until tonight. So I'm cutting it under the wire, and I wish I could give this a polish, but I actually think it's a pretty cute one. Though again I'm writing kids. Not sure what that's about. Anyway, hope y'all enjoy. And please, please, please: comment. And pass links along to your friends, countrymen, social networking sites, Roman bath house buddies, whatever.

Tricks, Lots of Tricks

EXT. SIDEWALK - DUSK

Four KIDS, 8-10 years old and in costume, gather under the darkening sky. By costume, there are SPIDERMAN, GHOST, BALLERINA, DINOSAUR.

SPIDERMAN

What did you get?

GHOST

Two Obama-Biden bumper stickers and this paper.

(Beat)

'Tortious Acts as a Basis for Jurisdiction in Products Liability Cases: A Completely Original Look'

DINOSAUR

Which house?

GHOST

The one with the guy dressed up like a Ken doll. Fake hair, face all plastic-y.

BALLERINA

He always looks like that. My mom says some people need to let nature take its course.

DINOSAUR

I got a butterscotch from that old guy who sits in his rocking chair on his porch all the time.

GHOST

Oh, the blue house.

DINOSAUR

No, I tried there but the lights were off.

GHOST

The red house?

DINOSAUR

Off.

GHOST

Then--

DINOSAUR

--He was in the yellow house.

BALLERINA

The one with the pretty red door. I like that house.

DINOSAUR

No, the other yellow house. I think he was running from house to house trying to hide, but he wasn't too fast. I caught him at the sixth house.

SPIDERMAN

Good. That house on the hill creeps me out.

(Opening sack wide)

Well, my bag's full!

DINOSAUR

No way! That's good stuff, too! Where?

SPIDERMAN

The shack on the corner.

BALLERINA

Who lives there?

SPIDERMAN

That loud lady who's always standing outside the Whole Foods with the clipboard. But I don't know if you guys should go there. My hand's real sore now.

(Beat)

She wouldn't give me any candy unless I signed a whole bunch of cards. She didn't care what name I used, but said if I signed fifty of 'em I could fill my bag up with all the candy I could carry.

BALLERINA

(Showing bag)

I got a bunch, too.

GHOST

That's pretty good Where?

BALLERINA

The house with the basketball hoop out front. But I don't think he's really got any candy.

DINOSAUR

What do you mean?

BALLERINA

I got to the door the same time as Joey Hanson. He had a lot more candy than me. The guy answered the door and said that wasn't fair and made him give me half his candy. Joey ran home crying.

DINOSAUR

Let's go try that house.

The kids walk one house over and up to the door. String lights, multiple pumpkins, and other decorations adorn the yard and porch. Spiderman rings the bell. The doorbell plays Dixie. It opens and a woman dressed as the Bride of Frankenstein - with rimless glasses - answers.

BRIDE

Hey there, you kids! Happy Halloween!

KIDS

Trick or Treat! Give us something good to eat!

BRIDE

Oh, you betcha!

The Bride reaches into a bowl and pulls out four wrapped items, one for each.

BRIDE (CONT'D)

Here you go! Now don't get into any trouble!

The Bride closes the door as the kids skip off the porch. Spiderman checks his bag.

SPIDERMAN

Eww! Homemade moose jerky!

BALLERINA

Hey, isn't that your brother over there?

GHOST

Where?

BALLERINA

(Points to distance)

There.

GHOST

He's not supposed to go over there. He's going to get in trouble. Mom said to stay out of Russia!

BLACKOUT