Pimp My TV Wrapup

Another great fight this week with six warriors bringing eight sketches. Yeah, we got a little crazy.

• Ken started us off with a little controversy, mashing Tarantino and the Eastland School...
• RA shot back with a tale of a life got flipped, turned upside down...
• Peter JUMPED into the arena...
• DNW brought in the cavalry, and launched a poison gas attack...
• Michael launched a supernatural attack where everyone knows your name...
• Dave showed us the seedy underbelly of Entertainment...
• RA fired a second shot from the safety of the countryside...
• Ken assembled a crime fighting duo with real animal magnetism...
  

I'm really proud of our output this week and hope everyone finds at least one or two sketches they enjoy. Be sure to leave comments to let us know what you think.

Next week we're changing things up a little bit. Because they asked the Twitterverse for it, we're going to write sketches - hopefully ones that could be expanded into TV shows - intended to star @stephenfry and @BrentSpiner.

If you think you've got the comedy chops to do battle with our scarredand bitter warriors, if you dare step into the hailstorm of seltzer andcream pies, if you think you're MAN ENOUGH to make us laugh, write asketch and contact us at sketchwar(nospam)@dreamloom.com.

FSW: Advertising Edition Wrapup

Well frak if that wasn't a hell of a war this week! To all the new visitors to Sketch War, welcome again. What you saw this week was a pretty good example of what we do around here every week, with a few minor modifications. We hope you enjoyed the sketches, and if you haven't had a chance to read them all, here's your chance. A record six warriors entered the arena this week swinging their +2 Maces of Mirth and Slashing with +4 Swords of Silliness.

• DNW led off the week by being honest about lying, or possibly it was lying about honesty, or lying about honestly lying...
  
• Ken followed quickly on his heels with a few jingoistic jingles...
• RA heated things up next, I mean worldwide it all got a few degrees hotter...
  
• Peter tried out a few slogans on a focus group...
• Michael gave us all an idea for the next big startup...
• David brought up the rear with an I-D-E-A whose time has come...

A variety of styles and approaches were on display this week. There's something in there for everyone. Take a look and be sure to leave comments letting the brawlers know what you thought, good or ill.

Next week we're going to roll our a series of sketches based on the theme: Pimp my TV. Here's a link to the contest that inspired it.

If you think you've got the comedy chops to do battle with our scarred and bitter warriors, if you dare step into the hailstorm of seltzer and cream pies, if you think you're MAN ENOUGH to make us laugh, write a sketch and contact us at sketchwar(nospam)@dreamloom.com.

Friday Night Sketch War: Borders Edition

Forgive me the lateness of this recap, but I'm still recovering from the bloody melee in the arena yesterday. *Five* warriors did battle yesterday; the floor slick with cream pies and banana peels.

Whoa. Passed out from the blood loss. On to the sketches on the theme: borders.

• Making his debut in the arena of mirth and death, David didn't waste any time bringing out the guns...
• Coyote went smaller, telling the tale of a war pitting sister against sister...
• In his return to the funny killing fields, Michael looked at the toll on the brave caregivers...
• Ken dug deep into the economic pressures underpinning immigration issues...
• Peter fired the final shot from deep in the middle of nowhere.
  

Wow. Just, wow. Five warriors, and rumors of another battler considering joining the fray next week. We've got guns, rednecks, zombies, Minutemen, Ivans, and fat kids. Check them out and be sure to leave comments.

Next week's topic: advertising.

If you think you've got the comedy chops to do battle with our scarred and bitter warriors, if you dare step into the hailstorm of seltzer and cream pies, if you think you're MAN ENOUGH to make us laugh, write a sketch and contact us at sketchwar(nospam)@dreamloom.com.

Friday Night Sketch War: Resolutions Edition

Howdy folks, Peter here.

Coyote has finally made it back stateside, but apparently he found a stash of something aboard that commandeered Catalina 22-foot sloop. (Ah, the rich -- they always keep their exciting pharmaceuticals close at hand.) He's still a bit how-you-say "altered" this week, but I'm sure once he stops telling his invisible-walrus friend about all the pretty colors he's smelling, Coyote will be back on sketchwar-summary duty.

This week, in honor of the (Gregorian) New Year, our topic was "resolutions", a topic that evidently weakened the resolve of all but two sketch-warriors:

• Coyote turned in a sketch about office-bound angels.
  
• And I (Peter) delivered a short scene about mountain climbing.

And lo, the eternal battle continues: stay tuned for next week, when we enter the squared circle of pain with sketches about cartoons!

As always, Sketch War is open to anyone who wants to participate. All you have to do this week is write a sketch about cartoons and contact us at sketchwar at dreamloom dot com.

Friday Night Sketch Skirmish: Christmas Presents Edition

Coyote is indisposed for another week, but he reports back that Turkish prisons are surprisingly easy to escape from and that Mediterranean yachts are surprisingly easy to commandeer, so he'll be back for wrapups next week.

This time around: sure it was Christmas, sure we were all busy, but the Sketch War train stops for no holiday! Well, okay, it does slow down a bit -- this week we did a one-time only "sketch skirmish" of two-line scenes on the topic "Christmas Presents".

• Coyote came up with "The Aftermath of the Magi".
  
• Ken delivered political commentary.
  
• And I (Peter) talked about arachnids.
  

Stay tuned for next week, when we ring in the new year with sketches about resolutions!

As always, Sketch War is open to anyone who wants to participate. All you have to do this week is write a sketch about resolutions and contact us at sketchwar at dreamloom dot com.

Friday Night Sketch War: 3:34am Edition

Coyote is temporarily indisposed, and has left it to me to sum up the latest Friday Sketch War. Since I'm lazy, I'll subcontract the job out to Mr. Joey Weitzman:

---

Alright, this week they didn't <bleep> around, they were all, "Yeah, we're so <bleep>ing hard we can do any <bleep>ing topic we want."

So somebody was all, "Oh yeah? <bleep> it, let's write sketches about '3:34am'!"

And another <bleep> was all, "That's not funny at all!"

And then they punched that guy in the face. And they said, "Yeah, this week's <bleep>ing topic is 3:34am! We can do this <bleep> because we are bad-<bleep> mother<bleep>ers."

• So then Coyote writes this sketch about Jared, who's just tryin' to sleep, man. I'll bet that, like, he's really a ninja, and he's all "<bleep> it, my master says not to bust out killing people," and he's all, like, conflicted and stuff.
  
• And then Ken's like, "Whut whut?" and he throws down this sketch about Santa. Yeah, you might think Santa's all weak and <bleep>. Think again. Santa will <bleep> you up.
  
• And finally Peter slammed down this one, which is like THIS CLOSE to having a unicorn in it. Yeah, you might think you're awesome, but you're sure as <bleep> not UNICORN-AWESOME.

I don't know which fighter won, but I do know for positively <bleep>ing certain that that "not-funny" lost. Yeah.

---

Thanks, Joey!

This coming Friday is the day after Christmas, so we have a unique holiday challenge. The "Sketch Skirmish" is to come up with the best two-line scene on the topic "Christmas Presents". Then, on January second, we resume normal Sketch Wars.

Friday Night Sketch War: First Dates Edition

W00t! Welcome to the new home for Sketch War. In our first battle in the new stadium, three warriors gave their all. Ninjas, knives, guns, God's wrath, lightning, and truthiness. Two talky-talky sketches against one without a word.

• R.A. took the topic VERY literally and gave us the FIRST date...
• Peter gave us 13 first dates that do not go well...
• Ken showed how honesty can be the best policy when dating.

Not bad for the first go 'round here in our new digs. I just wish I could figure out where the blood drains in the kill pit are.

Next week's topic is 3:34AM. Peter made three suggestions, two of them were nice and conventional. So of course I picked his third. But like Sky Masterson...

My time of day is the dark time
A couple of deals before dawn
When the street belongs to the cop
And the janitor with the mop
And the grocery clerks are all gone.

If you want to play along, write a sketch and send it, or a link to it, to sketchwarNOSPAM@dreamloom.com. And be sure to come back next Friday for more humor and mayhem.

Friday Night Sketch War: Learning Something New About History Edition

Another tough topic, though not nearly as painful, or likely to make a grown man cry and jump on a couch, as Oprah. Again, we had three warriors enter the fray. They acquitted themselves well.

• Coyote pulled back the curtain on the massive conspiracy that controls the world...
• Ken told a heartwarming tale of gold, frankincense, myrrh, and dealing vaporizers...
• Peter gave a history lesson on Hannibal, Fuck Yeah!

Three solid sketches on a beyatch of a topic. Next week's topic: first dates.

If you want to play along, write a sketch and send a link to it to sketchwar at dreamloom.com. And be sure to come back next Friday when we're hoping to have a few new competitors.

Friday Night Sketch War: Oprah Edition

Yours truly - like many before him - fell under the spell of one Ms. Oprah Gail Winfrey's hypnotic powers. I thought to myself did I, "oh, Oprah would make a great theme for Sketch War. So many topics. So many sketch ideas. This will be great!" She's ephemeral. Like a ghost, or Duke Nukem Forever, just when you think you've got a firm grasp on her she disappears.

• Peter made me throw up in my mouth a little bit with his erotic...fantasies of Big O...
• Coyote reacted to a dog bite and a bee sting with a few of Oprah's favorite things...
• Ken gave us a terrifying glimpse of the future Oprah is giving us.
  

We all struggled this week and weren't able to bring our usual B-games. Still, there are a few chuckles to be had. Next week, in what is hopefully an easier topic, Peter's selected learning something new about history.

If you want to play along, write a sketch and send a link to it to sketchwar at dreamloom.com. And be sure to come back next Friday when we're hoping to have a few new competitors.

Friday Night Sketch War: Horrible Holidays Edition

The battle continues apace; tonight we're joined by a new warrior. Fresh-faced and unscathed from previous battles, will Peter Rogers kill or cower, fight or flee?

This week's theme is brought to us by one of our legion of fans: horrible family holidays.

• Coyote - just like Han damn it! - shot first, with flaming egg rolls of doom...
• Ken takes us back to the second Thanksgiving and pelts us with maize on the cob...
• Peter picks a peck of pickled puppeteers to swing their marionettes of doom!
  

Next week, in honor of the orgy of food and retail shopping, the theme will be...Oprah!!!

If you want to play along, write a sketch and send a link to it to sketchwar at dreamloom.com. And be sure to come back on Friday for fun, fun, fun!

Friday Night Sketch War: Autumn Edition

A two-man grapple in Sketch Stadium this week, as Coyote challenges Ken. Last week's secret ingredient was autumn. In Battle Autumn, whose cuisine sketch reigns supreme?!

• Coyote takes a ride in the country. The country of death...
• Ken examines the short, sharp, brutal lives of those in their golden years.

Next week's theme, provided in comments by @tjonsek, is horrible family holidays.

If you want to play along, write a sketch and send a link to it to sketchwar at dreamloom.com. And be sure to come back on Friday for fun, fun fun. 

Friday Night Sketch War: Reconciliation Edition

In the battle of the sketches, he who comes first gets trampled by those who follow. But those who follow trip on the landmines of the first. Don't you ever forget that.

• Coyote can't help but spit one more political salvo straight into the heart of the sun!!!
• Ken straightens out the books with a vengeance!!!
• David eats the hell out of that soup!!!

Next week's theme, picked by me again 'cause I wasn't smart enough to ask anyone else to do it, will be autumn. For the boys in Chicago, it might seem a bit late, but for those of us who do NOT live on the shores of the coldest lake in the universe, it seems about right.

If you want to play along, write a sketch and send a link to it to sketchwar at dreamloom.com. And be sure to come back on Friday for fun, fun fun.

Friday Night Sketch War: Trick of Treat Edition

Again, I've *got* to pick up the pace with these wrapups. Soon, I'll be posting them five minutes before sticking up my last-minute entries for the following week. But it's here, so let's take a look-see.

• Ken - to whom we owe the theme - came out of the gate first with a party that might be getting a bit out of hand, at least for middle America...
• David broke tradition and shot back with a short story. And it's not funny. But day-AM if it isn't really good and y'all should go read it...
• Coyote ended the battle with his final campaign-oriented sketch of the year (he hopes) about what you might expect to receive if you went trick-or-treating in Campaign Corners.

Again we asked our legion of fans to leave comments on our sites with theme suggestions for this week. Again our legion of fans let us down. We'd be upset, but we do so love you. So our mothers *will* be continuing to pay your mothers to be nice to us for at least one more week. So this week's theme, in honor of the mood of the day, is reconciliation.

If you want to play along, write a sketch and send a link to it to sketchwar at dreamloom.com. And be sure to come back on Friday for fun, fun fun.

Friday Night Sketch War: Mad Scientist Edition

Coming a wee bit late with this wrapup, but I held out hope that Mr. Brownlee was going to get a late shot off in the battle by Monday. Alas, the originator of last Friday's excellent theme was too bloodied from his week in the paper cut factory. But we did have a good fight. Three funny sketches were lobbed onto the field, each exploding with mad scientifical goodness.

• Coyote led off with death rays and scallions...
• Ken followed up with an eerie tale of spousal zombification...
• David closed out the battle by showing us the evility of banal.

An extreme dearth of comments from our combined visitors left us scrambling for a theme for this All Hallow's Eve edition of the Sketch War. See, we wanted our three or four fans to pick themes and y'all let us down. I have a good mind to tell *our* mothers to stop paying *your* mothers to come read our sketches! Nah. Who am I kidding: the checks will continue.

Anyway, Ken's selected an appropos theme:
Trick OR Treat: an option; scenes involve a trick, a treat, or both.

If you want to play along, write a sketch and send a link to it to sketchwar at dreamloom.com. Otherwise, come back around on Friday for some ghoulish fun.

Friday Night Sketch War: Change Edition

The change meme is floating in the ether a lot these days. Michael picked up on it and made it the theme for last Friday's sketch war. Well, "sha na na na na".

• Coyote sent the Justice League to do his bidding...
• Michael embraced the wonder of the universe...right before kicking it in the teeth...
• Ken negotiated a pay raise.
  

Ken's suggested next week's seasonally appropriate theme of sports. So get your thinking caps on, sharpen your pencils, quills, and broadswords, and submit your best effort by midnight Friday to sketchwar at dreamloom.com.

Friday Night Sketch War: Funeral Edition

Last week's reunion special got me a bit melancholy, thinking about the ultimate reunion. When all your friends and family (or, in my case, a county official and anonymous creamatorium worker) get together to celebrate who you were and how you lived. Brings a tear to my eye. A tear, because a cinder from your remains got in my eye!

This week's challenge sees four warriors (once David stopped washing his damn hair) on the field of battle.

• Coyote spied on a lackey's funeral...
• Michael sent a ghost to do his bidding...
• Ken sold me a new coffin...
• David made a [adjective] [noun] of death.

Next week's topic is selected by Michael: change. Same call for sketches as always...if you wanna show us the funny, email sketchwar_AT_dreamloom.com.

Friday Night Sketch War: Back to School Edition

We've been ambushed! Michael gave us this week's theme and we set about sharpening our bayonets and targeting our rockets and seducing our Rockettes. Before either of us (or David, still bone-weary from last week's beatdown) could get in a shot, our newest and boldest battler launched a salvo!

David might still throw a last-minute grenade in this week, but all he's going to pick off are the nurses and medical corpsmen tending the wounded at this point. But next week, we could have a four-man or even five-man battle royale! Hell, it could be more if anyone else feels brave and bold enough to join in. The theme for next week was selected by Ken, our newest warrior: gatherings.

If you want to try your luck, email your sketch, or a link to where it's posted to sketchwar AT dreamloom.com by midnight on Friday.

• Ken launches Greek fire from his desk, getting the smart kids to calculate trajectories...
• Coyote put on his defensive armor too late...
• Michael danced between raindrops across the battlefield.

We've got the sad truth of NCLB, the Softer Side of Sears, and a typical day in a rust belt city this week. Lots of good stuff.

Friday Night Sketch War: Payroll Edition

This week sees the return of the three-man battle royale edition, and to grease the skids for his reentry to the fight, David picked this week's theme. And then? He just managed to set his bomb off with seconds to spare in the fight!

Next week's theme has been selected by Michael and is back to school. I think this is a good time for someone else to enter the fray with a surprise attack. We're bloodied, weary, and too focused on the fight in front to see a sneak sketch from behind. If you want to try your luck next week, email your sketch, or a link to where it's posted to sketchwar AT dreamloom.com by midnight on Friday.

• Coyote kicks up some dust and lays down the law with an out-of-time cowpoke...
• Michael lets us know the recession hits everyone hard...
• David is very truthy, and everyone knows it.

Read, learn, love. And get writing your own sketches, people. Clearly, anyone can do it.

Friday Night Sketch War: Procrastina-a-tion...

...is making me wait.

It's been a few weeks since I've done a Sketch War roundup, but we've been running strong. Michael and I have been fighting enameled-mouth-grinder and keratin-back-scratcher for weeks, and were happily rejoined by David and his rock-n-roll zombies this week.

The rules have changed recently. Our weekly battles are now themed instead of free-for-alls. The theme for this week's brawl was selected by Michael based on our usual approach to writing our sketches: procrastination. For those playing along at home and those of you brave enough to step onto the killing fields, next week's theme is Disney. Write your Disney-themed sketch and send it, or a link to it, to sketchwar AT dreamloom.com. Now, onto the mayhem!

• Coyote reaches back in time to a simpler age of short-sleeved dress shirts and black ties to tell a tale of engineering procrastination...
• Michael plays with his Wii...
• David slips on the floor. Eww!. His sketch gets a review from Andrew Stanton.

Enjoy!

Friday Night Sketch War: July 4th Edition

The fireworks for our nation's celebration paled in comparison to the fireworks on display in this week's two-man dustup. Two warriors, using every weapon in their arsenals in an all-out battle for ultimate victory!

• Coyote launched the first attack, a Roman Candle of Vengeance, and a dozen Sparklers of the Undead...
• Michael retaliated with a barrage of M80s of Destruction and a Cinnamon Sizzler!

We've got the true story of our nation's founding and the maybe true story of Michael's first date. Poor guy. That's gotta sting.